Hitchhikers in MiddleEarth
by Lord of Leaves
Summary: Lord of the Rings and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Arthur Dent wakes up and finds himself in MiddleEarth. New Chaper! Arthur and Aragorn reconquer MiddleEarth!
1. The Fall

Hitchhikers in Middle-Earth

**Chapter 1: The Fall (both of Arthur and of Sauron) **

I own nothing (gnihton nwo I).

Author's note: some things may seem upside down

I'm sorry for publishing so slowly, do forgive me.

PLEASE REVIEW!

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Arthur Dent awoke with a slight frizzling feeling in his head. 

All he could make out was blurred and green.

He tried to perceive his surroundings more closely and realized something moving toward him. It was also blurred, although it was less green and rather a bit more, but not exactly like brown.

The brown thing said something to him, but he didn't understand it, for it sounded roughly like this: "eman yht si tahw"

And so he closed his eyes again to concentrate on things and shook his head because he was still a bit drowsy and didn't want rubbish to enter his head.

Without knowing why or for what reasons the babelfish inside Arthur's head was forcefully being turned around for the second time in the last few minutes. The babelfish, bored by speaking backwards, thanked Arthur mentally and began his usual routine.

After opening his eyes again Arthur realized that his view became much better, for he saw beautiful green pastures and very large trees.

Arthur tried to locate the brown thing that talked to him before and failed, for he only saw a tall, bearded, long-haired man, who was, in fact, still talking to him.

The man said to him, "What is thy name?"

"Well, err, Arthur … Arthur Dent," Arthur Dent said, baffled by the inabsence of the brown thing.

"Thank you, o lord, for praising us with the presence of Arthur … Arthur Dent!" the long haired man said, his arms raised to the sky.

"What's that all about?" Arthur asked the man, not knowing what that was all about.

"Are thee not the man who, without any warning, fell out of the skies?" the man asked him.

"Well, if you say so," Arthur Dent responded, still groggy from what he now knew was a fall.

"Then we must thank thee for the deed thee heroically accomplished for us," the bearded man said, bowing.

"I see," said Arthur, who didn't, "what exactly did I do?"

"Well, o heroic one, thee ridded our land from the greatest scourge that befell us since a time that not even the eldest of men can remember."

"Oh! OK, well, what did I do then?"

"Well, err, thee has fallen on him," Aragorn explained, while standing before a dumbstruck Arthur Dent, who, without knowing it, sat on the second fiercest Dark Lord in the history of Middle-Earth.

And so Aragorn explained him how Sauron the evil dark lord retrieved his ring of power and how he overran the lands of Middle-Earth, how Sauron personally set out to smite the last bit of resistance, and how at the last and final battle Arthur saved everyone by falling on him.

Still startled, Arthur tried to understand what kind of dimensional breach could possibly have transported him to this place or how anyone could think that he could be a hero, abandoned his thoughts and began to like it.

"Cool," Arthur said after much consideration.

So finally it happened that Arthur became the new leader of the Survivors of Middle-Earth, who now began their campaign against the followers of Sauron. This allowed Arthur to work day and night because he provided good orc sandwiches for the troops.

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Thanx for reading! 

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	2. Reconquer & Rebuild

Chapter 2: Reconquer & Rebuild

I don't own this nor any ideas, characters, or things. (mainly because they're not mine)

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Arthur listened closely as Aragorn explained what happened in Middle-Earth after the War of the Ring became the War of Survival, and thereafter became a hopeless struggle against almost certain death, for Sauron's dark reign was a brutal one, were many people were slaughtered just for fun and cruelty. 

He thereafter explained how Frodo and Sam were caught by the Dark Lord and were imprisoned in the vaults of Barad-dûr. How Merry and Pippin heroically fought against a horde of orcs in Osgiliath and were brutally massacred.

After the conflict grew out of control, Aragorn and Gandalf planned that the rest of the survivors, including Legolas, Gimli, Faramir, Arwen, and Treebeard, should retreat to Loth-Lorien.

Then at the final fight between Sauron and the survivors, Arthur fell on the Dark Lord and knocked him out.

After the defeat of their lord the forces of Sauron withdrew and the Survivors of Middle-Earth reconquered the land. It was no problem for them because Sauron's orcs and trolls lacked the brains to strategically and tactically plan an advance, and were therefore brutally slaughtered.

At the beginning Arthur was very fond of the idea to watch the killing evil creatures, but after a while it bored him. So he went to Aragorn…

"Hi Aragorn," Arthur said, still a bit drowsy from the night before, where they had killed thousands of orcs and burned them in a giant bond fire until it dawned.

"Good morning to you, o savior of Middle-Earth," The Lord of a quite demolished Gondor responded, "how do you feel?"

"Fine, fine," Arthur said, who was neither, "Do you remember last night where we had killed thousands of orcs and burned them in a giant bond fire until it dawned?"

"Why yes, it is quite naturally to remember certain events, especially those that ruin your clothes with despicable odour," a seemingly disgruntled and stinking 'Aragorn replied.

"Well, I've been thinking…," Arthur said, who wasn't.

"Yes?"

"Well, didn't we kill enough orcs? I mean, we've been out here for months, slaughtering these beasts and begin to think that they have a right to live as well. And I can't stand these sandwiches anymore," Arthur exclaimed confidently.

"Well, I agree my friend, but only because you wanted it to happen, for you are our saviour. If it was my decision, I would slay every single one, just for ruining my clothes." Aragorn said, the wrath still glowing in his eyes.

And so it happened that the rest of the orcs and trolls were aloud to retreat to Mordor and to live the in peace. Aragorn took a bath and the rest of the Survivors of Middle-Earth split up to rebuild their homelands.

Since Arthur had no home in Middle-Earth and had no idea how he even got there, Aragorn sent him to Mordor to represent the winners of the war. So he and a loyal squad of elf archers set out to occupy the dark land called Mordor…

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**Please tell me what you think of the story so far!** It's going to continue. (although it could take some time!) Be prepared for the next chapter: Will Arthur arrive at Barad-dûr? What will he do? Will you be ready? Hopefully. 


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